Suck it, Thoreau

I had a few hours to kill in the Twin Cities on Thursday. So, I decided to check out the shrine to consumerism: The Mall of America.

And as much as it pains me to admit, the Mall of America is f***ing awesome.

It isn't so much a mall as it is a small theme park surrounded by four levels of shopping. There aren't really any amazing or different stores than what you would find in most other malls in the country, but there are plenty of them.

The small amusement park in the middle is called Nickelodeon Universe and has a bunch of rides themed after the crap that passes as kids entertainment on Nickelodeon these days. The actual rides themselves though, are surprisingly awesome. The best one is the Rock Bottom Plunge, which features a loop and a 97 degree drop. Not bad for a ride in the middle of a mall.

The other rides are a lot of fun too, and $20 got me a wristband for unlimited rides after 4 o'clock. Not a bad deal at all.

For baseball fans, the Mall of America holds some big significance. The MOA stands on the former site of Metropolitan Stadium, the first home of the Minnesota Twins and Vikings. The site of home plate is marked, though I am told it is inaccurate. Also visible on the wall above the log ride is a red seat from the stadium, marking the spot where Harmon Killebrew once hit a 520 foot home run. As a Dodger fan, the site of Metropolitan Stadium is significant in that it is where Sandy Koufax defeated the Minnesota Twins in game 7 to win the 1965 World Series.

Yes, participating and enabling the empty consumerism made me feel dirty and I'm sure I have no soul left, but the Mall of America ended up being a pretty fun way to kill a few hours in the Twin Cities.